Great leadership always starts on the inside.
Do you find that becoming your best at leadership is one of the biggest and most fulfilling challenges you’ll ever face?
Leadership determines the success or failure of an organization. And as a leader — aspiring or seasoned — the greatest asset you can offer your company, colleagues, loved ones, and the world at large, is a true understanding of your Inner Self.
Great leaders embrace the willingness and responsibility to improve their emotional intelligence (EQ) at the deepest inner level. This enables them to become the best version of themselves, to be the kind of person who inspires others to follow their lead.
But what does leadership – being a leader – really mean to you?
● WHAT IF leading means transparent connection, authentic communication, transformative purpose, and vulnerability-for-all?
● WHAT IF leading means being radically present to yourself and those you lead when conversations are unfolding in the moment?
● WHAT IF leading is more about managing intentions instead of setting goals?
● WHAT IF leading means discovering the truths and illusions in your own stories as well as in the stories or situations being told by those you lead?
● WHAT IF leading is all about being an open channel for the wisdom, insight, and energy passing through you in service of the person you’re leading?
Intrigued? Now’s the perfect time to take the LEADERSHIP INNER 10 SELF-ASSESSMENT.
How would you answer these questions about how you presently interact with those you lead?
1. Are you able to stay out of your head and in the moment, without the need to give advice about what they should do?
2. Can you stay out of judgment, with no need to impress them with your knowledge and opinions?
3. Can you practice the art of silence, asking only thoughtful questions and then patiently allowing space for whatever they feel needs to be said?
4. Can you give them time to release their “grip” on their stories before you step in to help?
5. Are you able to increase the depth of your radical presence, the astuteness and accuracy of your sensory observations, not attach, and yet be fully engaged in listening — in order to hear the subtle but powerful clues being offered?
6. Can you pay attention to what is being said, creating a sense of rapport and connection, while also silently detecting what is NOT being said in their story?
7. Are you able to offer perspectives that allow them to view their situation in new ways — helping them see unconscious biases as they look through your eyes rather than theirs?
8. Can you help them move to a different storyline. Let’s say their old storyline was, “When someone criticizes me, I will defend myself, withdraw, retreat, and cut myself off from further feedback.” Offering a new story line presents a new possibility: “OK, I’ve been given useful information; it’s not personal. I see this as an opportunity to replace a trigger with an aspiration to better self-regulate.”
9. Are you able to help them see what they can’t see on their own? For example, can you detect the unconscious elements in their stories (such as a repressed anger that threatens a relationship or complaining about a behavior they often display.) These elements can show up as a slip of the tongue, as awkward laughter, and as complaints about others. What we don’t like in others is often a mirror of ourselves.
10. Can you foster constructive dialogue and encourage an “invitational stance” rather than persuasive communication. This involves listening intently to the words they use, then using their own words to go deeper into a conversation. For example, if Mary says, ”I feel backed into a corner,” focus on the words ‘backed into a corner’. Say something like, “When you feel backed into a corner, what’s that like for you?” You listen, then ask another question, ”Anything else?” Keep listening, then ask, “What else?”
Every YES answer is indicative of a leader who has worked on developing his or her emotional intelligence. By embracing these insightful and powerful Inner Self questions, you can foster more meaningful and productive conversations with those you lead.
Can you picture scenarios where these prompts and questions can make your thinking clearer and your exchanges more effective? Give them a try and see what happens! I know from experience you’ll find your dialogues more enriching and empowering. This also gives you a good example of the depth of the Leadership curriculum offered in the Self Syllabus.