Friends and clients who know me well will easily say that I’m an open book when it comes to sharing life lessons. The title I chose for this blog post, “Inspect Before You Invest”, came to me during a time when I was healing from a personal relationship that had ended. Since then I have done my best to remember this when making personal or work-related decisions.

Much of my life’s work has been around honoring myself and maintaining my power versus giving it to others. I have also been greatly influenced by what other people thought of me and my actions. It is my observation that many men and women deal with these same issues and I can clearly see it in the area of separation and divorce.

Let’s take a look at Tammy’s life. I began coaching here right after she was separated. She shared with me that she had met “the man of her life”. Her words were: “I wasn’t looking to get involved with someone right away. I met him on a dating site, and he is everything my husband wasn’t.”

Who am I to say whether or not this is a good thing? However, my observation is one of caution. Separation/divorce is like an octopus with tentacles that affects more areas in your life than any other major life transition. It is imperative that you get healed before you move on to another relationship.

Let’s say a 50% healed person meets another 50% healed person. Does that mean that together they are 100% healed? The odds are the answer is no. It’s like the donut meets the donut hole. They might think they are complete because the donut hole fits nicely into the vacant center space of the donut. But let me ask a question: What happens if the donut hole takes a hike? The donut once again has a hole. Why not heal your whole self by yourself and become a jelly donut or Bavarian Crème all filled up?

INSPECT YOURSELF FIRST

Check your “neediness and readiness barometer”. How complete are you with your past? Are you ready to become involved? What assets are you bringing to the new relationship? Is this the right time for you? Have you done the work that is necessary for you to move on healthily? Is the other person that you are involved with healed? Here’s an interesting question to ask yourself: Would you marry you? Pay attention to the clues as they are always there – you just have to want to listen; many times we are hard of hearing because we don’t want to see the truth.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

I invest a lot of money each year in life-enhancing education. What percentage of your disposable income do you invest in YOU – in your personal and professional development, such as books, seminars, and workshops? It’s been said that we spend more time planning our vacations than we do on our personal growth.

Imagine how different your life would be if you read one book a month and put what you learned into action. The key is studying and applying, as we all read books where we don’t apply the ideas and concepts. Don’t do this anymore! Recruit a “study buddy” to read and study with and then set up a committed structure to meet. Or start a monthly book club.

Did you know that reading one hour a day for 365 days is equal to nine 40-hour work weeks in one year? Do you think you would be “top in your field” if you committed to this one action?

Challenge yourself – perhaps only do half an hour a day. That would be equal to four and one-half 40-hour work weeks in one year. Just imagine how your life would change!

Seemingly such a small amount of time, yet so significant.